Exhausted Vs. Alberto! A revolution of love and a legacy of evil!

Gizoogle Lore: Exhausted Vs. Alberto! A revolution of love and a legacy of evil! The Yellow Diamond public library. Exhausted made plans and deals with contractors nearly two years ago. He used money he found to fund it. And by found, I mean he read a letter meant for Stylo about an inheritance. Long story short, this library took years of dedication. Years that were the equivalent of one day in Vietnam. Exhausted walks in and looks around for a bit. He sees some nice boys of Hispanic descent and walks onward towards the back. His black arm reaches into his black covered body and pulls out a card. He goes to the very back and begins reading. &quot;I am a gay little teapot, this is my boy pussy&quot; he reads. &quot;Hey wait a minute...&quot; he realizes as Alberto comes out of the darkness hysterically laughing. He puts his phone in his back pocket as he wipes a tear off his cheek from laughing too hard. &quot;You&apos;re so gullible.&quot; Alberto mocks. &quot;Were you just... waiting that whole time? What if I didn&apos;t come?&quot; Exhausted inquires. &quot;I uh... Shut up.&quot; Alberto snarkily responds. &quot;Anyway, I have some stuff to tell ya. But the thing is, I can&apos;t risk people listening in on us. So, I&apos;m gonna text you the details.&quot; Alberto says as he takes out his phone again. &quot;I don&apos;t think that&apos;s any safer...&quot; Exhausted says as he pulls out his black phone. They exchange information and text each other while being right next to each other for several minutes. After a while, Alberto looks at Exhausted​ and smiles. &quot;So, I helped you find your potential, now you help me with something.&quot; he says. &quot;Are you fucking braindead? I have no use for you. In fact, I could fucking kill you right now.&quot; Exhausted proclaims. &quot;But you won&apos;t. Because I know you. You&apos;re a guy who can appreciate fellow evil.&quot; Alberto smugly says as he rubs and ruins Exhausted&apos;s hair. &quot;No. I am actually going to fucking kill you.&quot; Exhausted angrily responds. Exhausted felt a burning hatred for this giant brute lounging over him. Alberto was the embodiement of everything he hated, a voice too gruff for a pitch too low, large muscles too badly proportioned to be attractive and an attitude straight out of a 90’s chick flick. Exhausted tensed his muscles and put his right foot back, bending his knees, making him waist height to the gargantuan red monster glaring down at him. He paused for a second however and stood up to his original height, nearly at Alberto’s neck and declared “Hol up hol up hol up, i have a boolin idea before we start duke’n it, go wait out in the garden over there” Exhausted gestured to the field of tall daffodils beyond two sliding glass doors.

“what for..?” Alberto grunted haphazardly

“nah nah trust me it’ll be the sickest thing” Exhausted shouted back as he dashed into a small side room down a dimly lit corridor. Alberto tried craning his neck to see what was going on but Exhausted’s hand kept gesturing outside. Alberto gave up and lumbered outside, his footsteps making the bookshelves rattle. The sun was beginning its descent and the sky was turning orange, golden sunbeams streaking through the bushes that surrounded the acre of garden. He kept walking to the furthest end of the meadow and turned around. It was about 100 metres or so away from the doors and difficult to see inside because of the angle of the sun. Alberto sighed, he didn’t sign up for these shenanigans. A small twang of a guitar is heard as the glass doors smash open, shards flying in every direction as Exhausted struts out of the building. His shirt is off, and the sources are gathered in a conical shape on his right hand to form a drill. As the music gets louder Exhausted begins to pose with his muscles bulging like mortys crotch in a kindergarten. Alberto rolls his eyes and purses his lips as Exhausted completely disregards him. “what a fuckin’ tune eh?” Exhausted calls over the music. “It’s the 2nd Fist of the North Star op!”

“I don’t care!” came the harsh reply from a distance away as Alberto grew impatient.

“Don’t be dick, it’s an absolute anthem!” Exhausted yelled, slightly insulted. The song was drawing to a close and Exhausted slackened his muscles and step off the porch into the sunlight. The drill started to rotate, silently, but Exhausted thought drill noises were cool so he hummed the noise. “ddddddddddddddrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr” he said, staring down his opponent and re-entering his low-down stance from earlier. Alberto uncrossed his arms and held his right hand out, palm towards Exhausted. With a cry in german Exhausted launched himself in a cloud of dust the entire length of the garden, drill outstretched. Alberto instantly tensed and an enormous blast of flame erupted from the space in front of his palm right towards Exhausted’s shouting form. Exhausted let out a shriek as the fire rushed towards him. An intense explosion rips through the trees and scorches the ground but as the smoke clears it reveals a large black dome anchored to the ground; Exhausted’s head pops out the top.

“STEADY ON MATE, JESUS CHRIST THERE’S NO NEED” He squawks as his hair sizzles. With no hesitation, Alberto advances and resumes spewing flame at the dome. Exhausted is crouched inside as the walls around him begin to squirm.

“Sources are an excellent conductor of heat you dumbass, you’ve basically locked yourself into a steel trap; You’ll be cooked alive!” Alberto’s taunt was muffled through the black barrier, and the roar of flame drowned out Exhausted’s response. Exhausted thought to himself “Now hang on... if sources can conduct heat... what about Hamon..?” In the sweltering darkness he struggled to maintain his breathing. Alberto was not giving up anytime soon, still standing over the defence and torching it like a christmas pudding. With a loud crackle the dome was covered in Hamon, the streams of energy leaping out in flares. Alberto’s flame struggled to connect and began to dwindle. With a roar Exhausted’s heavily perspiring body leapt out of the opening dome, sources retreating back to his hand.

“Your next line will be: So you can withstand a fraction of my power?” Exhausted chuckled smugly, striking another pose and panting heavily.

“So...you can withstand a fraction of my power- oh shit” Alberto raised his thick arms and crossed them over his face as a black drill accelerated towards his neck. He caught it between his elbows and raised his knee to kick Exhausted in the groin. Exhausted jumped back and steadied himself as Alberto recovered from the surprise. After a few seconds of heavy breathing they rushed towards each other and the crack of blows echoed off the librarys wall; each punch too fast to see. Flashes of fire could be seen in the fray and the crackle of Hamon grew louder. Both stood firm with their feet planted on the ground.

“oof... watch out... ow... for my spaghe...bugger...tti... MOVE”

Exhausted shouted through gritted teeth as boiling magma splashed on his exposed face. He stepped back once more and gathered all his sources from around his body, leaving him naked, as his drill grew exponentially and hamon became more visible on its surface. Holding it back ready to strike, he paused when he heard his opponent chuckle. Alberto was covered in shallow holes, dripping orange blood that evaporated and steamed as it hit the ground; some parts of his body were missing chunks of flesh entirely.

“We finish this with a single move, that’s how you want it? The injured monster winced through the pain.

“yeah and it has to have the littest name, like something outta beyblade ya feel?” The naked scottish lad explained.

Alberto stood upright and put his hands together as Exhausted resumed his position to strike. “Alright then, lets end it quickly” came a slight mumble from behind Alberto’s fangs.

“FINISHING HELL ROTATION OVERDRIVE” Exhausted leapt forward in an instant. Alberto panicked and set his fists ablaze. “Fuckin uuuuuhhh BIG OL FUCKIN UUUH PUNCH OR SUMIN” he stuttered and lurched at tremendous speed. The two clashed in the air, the shockwave destroying what little vegetation was left in the garden. As they jostled fist-to fist, sparks of hamon and magma met in a furious climb to the sky. Exhausted forgot to maintain his Hamon breathing and nervously diverted the remaining energy into a blast to blow Alberto away. The explosion launched the combatants to opposite end of the now barren field. They lay there recovering their breath and staring up at the indigo sky. Eventually they staggered to their feet and limped back to the centre where they stood slouched and panting, trying to nurse burns and wounds. Exhausted grunted and raised his head to look Alberto in the eye which was quite a feat. The sources swirled their way around Exhausted’s injured body.

“Y’know, i never asked you why you’re doing this. I don’t even know you and i ALSO want to kill Rainho... You’da thunk if anything we’d be best mates being antagonists and all.”

“Randy is also an antagonist, why aren’t you BFF’s then, according to your logic?” Alberto’s speech was ragged but still smug.

“aight thassa fair point” Exhausted chuckled, wincing as cooling lava trickled down his torso with every movement of his chest. “seriously though, you’re pretty gosh darn motivated.” Exhausted’s gaze would not shift from Alberto’s agonized face.

“I... just want her back... you have no idea what it’s like without her... something so perfect i can never have” Alberto grimaced as he began to fall to his knees in either pain or sorrow.

“I’m 9000000000% autistic so i can’t relate ellemayoh. Also if you love ‘er so much why are you trying to kill ‘er?!” Exhausted began to sit on the ground, not breaking his gaze. The ground was still hot. “And why are you trying to kill me?!” his voice getting higher with every forced word. Crossing his legs Exhausted prepared his face and voice for emotions ready for a heartfelt talk.

“I’m not angry at HER... if anything i’m angry at myself. Falling in love was never something i wanted to do.”

“yeah now THAT i can relate to”

“Love is the most dangerous force in the entire multiverse. It can bring any man to his knees, control his every thought... He would do anything to be free from its shackles but he still strives to obtain it; no matter how hard the shackles dig into his flesh. It can destroy a man from the inside.”

“pretty fucking nifty analogy my guy, but it doesn’t explain anything.” Sensitivity was never Exhausted’s strong suit.

“I love her, and because of you and your squad-“

“HER squad” Exhausted interrupted. “As much as i hate being a subordinate, i respect her as a leader. She’s done so much for us; she’s in charge”

“... and you hate that...” Alberto’s crimson eyes squinted at Exhausted’s robotic face like a child looks at the microwave timer when there’s a spaghetti ready meal in there.

“no... i just WANT to hate it. I’m a terrible leader, if i were in charge nothing would ever happen and eventually people would get sick and pull a mutiny.” Exhausted hesitated. “Sorry, continue.”

“HER squad is just another barrier to getting her back in my life. I’m not a monst-“ Alberto made a small gulping noise and a small drop of lava dripped down his face. Exhausted couldn’t tell if he was crying or just injured.

“I’m not a monster! My purpose in life is too make her mine and make her happy! Not even in a controlling way, i’d do whatever she wanted, whatever made her happy! It’s not about me... it’s about her!” Alberto’s voice was loud and trembling, even an advanced Autist like Exhausted could pick up he was upset.

“and you want to kill her because you know you can never have her, but a small part of you believes you COULD still have her. That conflict is impossible to control. If she exists she causes you so much pain, more than the pain of losing her, because in a sense, you’ve already lost her.”

“Y-y-yes, holy shit how’d you get that so accurately?!”

“I watch a lot of Rom-Coms” It was difficult to admit but Exhausted’s knowledge of love came from HIMYM and Community.

They both sighed simultaneously.

“We both want control for different reasons. We both want the same outcome for different motives. You want Rainho dead because of spite, whereas i do it because being an antagonist gives you more power.”

“but neither of us are very good at it eh?” Alberto forced a chuckle.

“eeyup. Reckon it’s worth teaming up?”

“nope. Our methods and personalities clash too much.”

“seconded. Any plans for the future?” Exhausted wasn’t very good at small talk either but this made Alberto stop and think. The contemplative silence lasted for nearly a minute before Alberto finally claimed he did have one idea.

“There is one thing we can do, to give us both a chance. I know of this, i suppose ‘fusion’ technique from back home in which the traits of one person are added or removed from an exact clone of another, consenting person. It’s basically demon sex for warlords.”

“Sounds absolutely fucking disgusting but also like a fantastic idea.”

“the person we create will be of a purer evil than the two of us. My rage and your creepy sociopathic brain is the perfect combination for a conqueror. Not to mention i can transfer your Sources to him aswell; and seeing as the personality will only have changed slightly his stand power will be nearly identical to Type-40.”

“Hang on, this whole time you can just get rid of sources but you never bothered to try it on me while we were fighting?” Exhausted sounded almost hurt. “And how do you know so much abouts stands?! HOW CAN YOU DO ANY OF THIS ANYWAY?!” Exhausted began to tense as he prepared to get back to his feet.

Alberto followed his lead and said “I can only transfer the sources from one consenting organism to another; Spirits and souls wasn’t my strength in school. Rainho on the other hand...”

Exhausted took yet another deep sigh. “are you saying i could straight up leave the squad and some evil version of me could take my place?”

“Essentially, yes”

“Then lets rock and roll my guy”

A few minutes later Alberto finished drawing a pentagram in the dirt as he explained to Exhausted the basics of Yu-gi-oh duel links. “you gotta choose a type for your deck, i would recommend wind for a more complex strategy”

“Cheers my guy i’ll look into it. How goes this demonic shit then?” Exhausted queried, becoming slightly impatient.

“Finito, stand here” Alberto’s enormous hand gestured to a point in the star. The injured scottish lad limped over to face Alberto on the other side of the circle. He began to worry, the whole demonic shit seemed a little OTT and dangerous... Sure he wanted control, but not enough to hurt the people around him.

“ok, we’ll start now.” Alberto said quite quietly, raising his hand out over the circle. “take my hand”

“miss me with that g-... aight” Taken aback at first but doing his best to cooperate, he took the demons giant hand in his. In a rush of black the Sources travelled down his outstretched arm and dropped to the centre of the circle. The sky darkened and the wind rushed around the pair in the ruined garden. Raw power seemed to bleed from Alberto, and Exhausted sensed the incomprehensible rage that had killed so many people and was going to do it again. He felt his own selfish drive to claim power; the potential for evil was tremendous and that scared him. Afraid of what the future held, he focused all the love and admiration he had in him into one, miniscule point and added it to the swirling concoction of pain and ambition. No one man should have all that powah. Should anything go wrong, hopefully this small but powerful drop of happiness should shine through in a dark hour. The sources on the ground writhed and squirmed until they eventually dissapated, leaving another buff naked scottish lad. The body lay there as the black clouds snaked around it, coating it in the familiar itchy warmth. “I’m no longer Exhausted.” Ronan declared looking down at his replacement; the Pandoras box of young scottish pervy demon warlords.

There was an akward silence between Ronan and Alberto as they waited for the product to not be dead or something. It groaned a bit, confirming it worked and Exhausted 200% Form was not actually dead.

“i suppose it will take a while for him to gain conciousness. We better leave before we have to answer his questions. Oh, but before we go i have to grant him Type-40 aswell...” Alberto took a small lump of bronze rock from belt above his loincloth and ran it down Exhausted’s arm, drawing black blood that trickled to the ground where the dry, cracked ground absorbed it like a sponge.

“so... i guess it’s over. I can go home and continue my life free from the torment of whatever the hell this group is. And you can rest assured that rainho will meet her demise at the hands of the new Exhausted. Win-Win.”

Alberto acknowledged this with a small grunt and turned away. “I suggest you find some way to defend yourself without your sources; A stand can’t do much in a world like this regardless how powerful it is, there will always be something to completely counter or over-power it. Also please keep in mind you’re completely naked now.”

Exhausted looked startled as he was reminded that without sources, he would have to start wearing clothes again.

“Aight, each point noted. I’m thinking of learning Nanto Kusho Ken.”

Alberto again grunted and began to walk away from the library, a small portal opening in front of him. He turned back to look at Ronan and Exhausted.

“We’ll meet again if all goes well, or alternatively it all goes wrong.” With these parting words he squeezed his hulking frame through the portal leaving Ronan alone with the snoozing catalyst of the cataclysm. He turned to look at the well lit statue of yellow diamond. He listed all the things he needed to keep safe from the new Exhausted’s iron grip of evil in his mind, and yellow diamond was certainly one of them. He brought his entire body around, with his back facing his now awakening counter-part. Before Exhausted could open his eyes, Ronan had jumped the wall and was making his way with the wind to the Nanto temple.

Exhausted stood up to his full height and nursed his throbbing head. He looked around in dazed confusion at the burning trees and scorched ground. “fuckin hell what kinda party did i miss?!” he shouted to the rustle of flaming bushes. “Good fuckin grief, vars yon hoose island fae here?” adopting the scottish dialect seeing as noone was round, he swept his hand over himself and in a black mist he apparated on the front step of the gizoogle house.